its not stalking. its research.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
