the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
