He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
