well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
