I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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