Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
