Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
