Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
