i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
