You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
