if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Found your dick twin last night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
