MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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