She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
