Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
