after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
