so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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