So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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