ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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