batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
People in love make me want to vomit
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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