I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
