You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
