You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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