I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
