He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
