Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
