i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
