I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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