Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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