He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
