I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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