exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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