you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
