at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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