he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
