If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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