I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
