Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
