How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
