so explain again why im purple
no
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
