Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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