I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
