Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????

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(301): View more from Maryland

in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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(609): View more from New Jersey

How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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(314): View more from Missouri

If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

Fav 6 997 2002
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(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

Fav 19 778 2011
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL

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