I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
