just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
