Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
