I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
