What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
