around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize