She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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