Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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